40 is the new 60

Turning 40 for me was not traumatic in the least.  It came and went without any fanfare.  I didn’t feel older, younger, wiser, or sadder.  It was really just another birthday.  While my mind decided it was no big deal, my body has decided to feel otherwise.

Now that I am in my “early forties”, my body is has decided to remind me that I can no longer ignore or forget the fact that I am actually getting older.  Here are a few of my body’s new tricks:

1.  Grunting when getting up or sitting down.  More often than not, a little grunt – “oof!  uung!  unnnn!”  will escape when I am sitting down or getting up.  This sound escapes without my knowledge or permission.  I first noticed this when I was getting up or down from a very low seat or deep, cushy couch.  Now it pretty much happens with any seat, regardless of height or cushion.  This is particularly distressing in a public restroom.  I’m waiting for the day when someone asks me if I am OK.

2.  Inability to hover.  Speaking of public restrooms, I have lost my ability to hover.  I have spent a great many years peeing in a public bathroom without ever actually touching the toilet seat and yet with perfect aim.  No sprinkles when I tinkle.  But lately I just can’t seem to do it.  I’m not sure if it’s my hover distance or my aim, or maybe my older lady body parts are just shifting.  I just can’t get the right height or aim anymore.  To avoid making a mess of myself or the bathroom, I’ve resorted to just taking a seat.  Oof!  Germs be damned!   To be fair, in my forties, I am finding myself in much nicer public restrooms that I frequented when I was in my twenties, so perhaps this is less of an issue than I am making it to be.

3.  Gray Hairs.  Or Grey Hares.  OK, so I have had gray hairs since I turned about 30.  But they are popping up with much more intensity and frequency than when I was younger.   My husband remarked (sincerely) on my “highlights” and asked when I got them.  Thank you, honey.  Actually, as it turns out, I’m don’t have any gray.  I was looking at my hair and lamenting the amount of gray when my youngest daughter came over and peered at my head.  She said, “Mom, you don’t have any gray.  Your hairs are silver.”  Perfect.

4.  Bedtime at 4pm.  Ok, not really.  But I used to stay up until the wee hours of the morning more often than not.  Now as 8 or 9 pm rolls around, I’m very likely on the couch, dozing or full out sleeping.  Staying up until 11 pm feels like an Olympic event.  On the flip side, I am able to get up early with no problems.  Just like my grandma used to do….

I am pretty sure there are some other items that I wanted to mention, but my memory just isn’t what it used to be….

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